What the HELL is this blog about?

Hi. I consider myself hispanic. I act white. It's something I've learned to live with.
My blogs tell the story of an incredibly awkard, shy, neurotic, hispanic-white-acting, boyfriendless seventeen-year-old trying to fit into the world of being a "normal" teenager.... in a very, very white town.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

they only come when unplanned.

My mother stared at me while I was looking out the window. I caught her and smiled. She returned it. I wonder if she could sense anything. Mothers are supposed to have extra special powers, you know.
Could she sense how pathetic I felt right then? Remembering the walk downtown and how it was such a perfect night... Running through the fountains. Getting wet. Walking around barefoot, drying off. And the laying on the concrete, looking up at the stars with the skyscrapers surrounding us. The breeze. The people I was with. How calming and peaceful it was.
It's such a bittersweet memory. It only happened weeks ago, yet I feel like it was an eternity ago.
The sadness comes in with the realization that a perfect night like that won't happen for a while. We tried going downtown again. This time Ingrid joined us.
I have nothing against Ingrid. Sort of. In fact I actually idolize her. But then again, who wouldn't? She and I have only just finished our first quarter and already she's taken over as one of the best artists our school has to offer. Yes, including the SENIOR artists. She's that damn good.
Also, people love her. Why?
1. She's petite.
2. She's got scenie-weenie hair.
3. Her style is
scenie-weenie/tomboy with lots of eye liner, colored nail polish, tight graphic
t's, chucks, skinny jeans and cute belts. Pretty much a style that you
could imagine Hot Topic generated before it became mainstream.
4. Her
attitude is perfect with everyone. She can be sweet and cute as can be with
cute sayings and jokes and, even though it gets on my nerves, she speaks
a few words of Japanese in that cute little anime voice and
LOVES HER. But then she can switch onto the
tomboy mode. Think
ninja. Think willing to play along
with everything. Think...juggalo. She used to be
Also, think cute little sister with the boy walk that other boys
would like
to spar with some day. Mhm.
5. She's a furry.
6. Very into
7. EVERYONE LOVES HER. And I hate to love her for
this. Am I jealous? Why yes. Yes I am.
And she gets along fabulously with Sullie. Let me tell you something about Sullie: he. is. adorable.
I want to be his best friend. And no, not because he's gay. Ha. He's not gay. ;]
Point is... I want to get close to this kid for reasons that will probably be explained later on, but... We can't. Because we have nothing in common. Sure it was amazing hanging with Sullie the first time we went downtown but now with Ingrid there. I'm in the back of the group and he's far off ahead of us with Ingrid and they're running around having fun and I feel like a fucking grandma.
SO what is the point of this blog post if all I'm doing is bitching about how I'm jealous of Ingrid? There are three, actually:

1. I am jealous of Ingrid.
2. It just goes to show that perfect and beautiful nights are always best when not planned.
3. There is a part two to this where you will learn more about Sullie and I will elaborate with stuff that's been going on. But you'll have to wait for it. I'm sorry, I have no more time to write. :/

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